I'm back with the same topic.
So basically, to what I've been saying in the previous journal entry, I've been talking about me changing schools and some of my feelings. So, read on if you want to know what this journal is going to be about.
Everything started of the beginning of the week, at first I'm not quite able to accept what's going on and the reason is because I have to take an entry exam and I have to pass to be able to learn there, but I've been thinking to randomly doing the questions because I don't want to go there. And the test is THIS Saturday and I only have 1 week to prepare and this week have been a REALLY busy week and I have no time to study. And people who wants to take the entry exam for a new school, it takes "weeks" for them to prepare but me, I got only one week and I only studied for like 1 day and I have no other time to study now I'm pretty stressed.
On Saturday... I've been praying that I'm willing to do anything to not leave my school, but it seems like it makes me feel even worse because when I have to go to bed, I cried in my room, well because of stress and stuff. I guess that makes me feel a little better. Now with even more tests and projects and whatever coming up, my brain seems like it's almost to it's exploding point because 50% of my brain is thinking about the new school thing and 25% for homework and 20% for what my parents and teachers are expecting from me and 5% for other stuffs.
So... for now I'm quite lost in sadness, but I always try to be positive, but it's like I'm lying to my self. On the outside I'm happy, but inside, I'm sad.
Well, to explain what I'm feeling right now, some pictures:
Just for you guys to get the idea. But actually I feel like I'm stressed this whole week and I'm not able to concentrate at anything and I always try to fake a smile, no one actually knew my true feelings inside and probably a few friends ask me if I'm going to leave for real, and probably they care. The others... well never mind, only a few knew about it, I'm not going to tell this to the gossipy friends, or else the news will be spread within one school day and I don't want others to know. And probably, another feeling that I got, if I'm gone, I wonder who will miss me or notice that I'm gone...
Well, I don't know what I want to say anymore, posting this makes me feel somehow better and it makes me want to cry at some point. Now here's a lesson I learned, life have it's ups and downs, without it I won't be alive. And, something that didn't kill you makes you stronger than before. Even though everyday may not be good, but there's something good in everyday.
Bye for now guys... I might post again after my entry exam and results. Probably it would make me feel better